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Public School Next Year

I never did quite get the whole blogging thing down.  I don’t think there’s supposed to be an eleven month lag between updates… but that’s exactly what happened. I do apologize.  I have been crazy busy, but that has never stopped me before.  Truthfully, I’ve felt a little conflicted.

Homeschooling was very successful for Marisa in fifth grade, but I started receiving resistance as her friends headed off to public school in September.  She wants to go back.  No, she doesn’t hate homeschooling, but she misses the ‘school’ experience, wants to fit in and feels she is in a much better place than she was before homeschooling.  I understand the need, and because she wasn’t homeschooled from day one, she has a foot in both worlds. It’s tough. If I don’t allow her to go, will she be resentful? I think so.

 I stood my ground for this year. When we made the decision to take her out of public school we agreed to a two year commitment, until she was no longer in the middle school which has an open classroom system. It’s a difficult environment for a learner like Marisa.  

So this will be my last year homeschooling.  She will attend public junior high school in September with all of her peers moving from the middle school. 

Oddly enough, I’m finding it a little bittersweet.  

The decision to send her back next year has changed our homeschooling landscape quite a bit.  Although we still ebb and flow, don’t run a traditional classroom schedule, and she certainly doesn’t wake up at 6:00 am, I have become a lot more stringent about doing things the way they are expected to be done in public school to facilitate the transition to public school.   I want it to be as easy as possible for her to make the move, so the things I don’t find important, but I know are coming down the pike for her, I am stressing this year.

Believe me, I never wanted to homeschool, but over the last year with so many changes going on in the public schools, I almost wish she were more amenable to it.  The common core standards, teacher evaluations being part of the testing results, Pearson, teacher layoffs, bigger classrooms and arts/music cuts are weighing heavily on me.   Now, more than ever, is not a time to be in public school, but you don’t want to get me started on that tirade.  Suffice it to say that I don’t believe she’ll get a well- rounded education given the changes and I think the rigid programming of the high stakes testing regime is going to be tough for her.

That  being said, I am also, in addition to giving her the tools necessary for success in public school, trying to expose her to as many experiences as possible, because I know she won’t get that for the balance of her education. 

To that end she’s been to the Watermill Grist Mill, done the Longhouse Reserve Tour, had ceramics classes at the Parrish Art museum, seen plays, gone for a tour of a chocolate factory and attended a lampworking class. (See pics- that was great!)    We have a lot of activities set up for the spring already and I’m sure there will be more to come.  She’ll take two classes at Brookhaven National Lab, one in nanotechnology and the other, an engineering challenge. She’ll be attending the 18^th century Innkeepers Day at the Smithtown Historical Society and A Kids Day in Native American Life. She attends a homeschool social group that she enjoys and I run an art class semi regularly.  She takes gymnastics, does twirling and has weekly violin lessons.  She learns so much by doing.

As much as she has gotten out of this experience, I find that I have learned just as much. My prejudices concerning homeschooling have been blown out of the water.   I have incredible respect for the homeschooling community.  The majority  of the parents I’ve met have wonderful children and are committed to excellence. They work hard arranging experiences and dedicate massive amounts of time and energy doing so.  Overall, the kids are well mannered and well versed.  At any event I have been to where public and homeschooled kids are attending at the same time, the homeschooled children, hands down, are much more polite and attentive.

I have also had this incredible experience to spend time with my daughter.  I was unfortunately never afforded the opportunity to interact with my boys on this level, but had I known I could homeschool, I might have, at least for one other.   I think it has been a time that we both will remember forever.

As I write this, it almost sounds like a farewell.  It isn’t.  I will chronicle the next few months- I promise! 

As for whether I would homeschool her if she changes her mind?  Well, probably.  But she has been told that this is a big decision, as big a decision as it was to take her out of school and it’s not a revolving door.  She needs to commit to the year in public school.  We can re-evaluate after that if need be. Either way, what really counts is whether she is learning.

So I sit on the fence. The two sided coin, Yin and yang. Abbott and Costello…the plusses and the minuses.  There’s no easy answer here, but I do know that I too have my feet in both worlds and will miss my homeschooling adventures as much as I miss quiet time. 

En Garde!

So, let me tell you what I've learned this week.  There is a perfectly acceptable (and LEGAL) way to attach your child to a leash and plug him or her into an electrical source.  For anyone who doubts me, well check this out... (she's the one on the right with the pink socks)

Marisa is real new to fencing but loves it ...and what's not to love?  She gets to use a weapon and no one yells at her for pointing it at another person. 

What is really cool about this though?  Well, if Marisa wasn't homeschooling there would be no way we could commit the time to this.  She was finding it difficult, almost impossible actually, to get all her homework done after a full day of school.  We would also have a tutor come once or twice a week and were going to baton (which is also a weapon of sorts) lessons on one school night already.

Her frustration level was so high from school itself and the homework was so laborious, that it seemed like we had virtually no time between the end of schoolwork and winding down before bed.  There was just no way she would have been able to  fit in two nights a week of fencing in addition to twirling on a physical or emotional level.

Now, although we have a lot to do and are involved in a number of things, there is far more flexibility.  Since I'm working with her one on one, as is her tutor, we get more accomplished in a shorter amount of time and with far less pain. Because she's less stressed,  I'm finally starting to see some results.  She's reading with a little more fluency (and willingness).   I have her working on large grid graph paper for math and it seems to help her stay organized.  She's trying hard to be very neat.

But truly, the best thing is that her confidence level is way up.  Marisa, who wouldn't walk into a store and ask a clerk anything, now will (very politely I might add) asks for what she needs.  She doesn't hesitate or shy away or have to be coerced to do it.  She comes across as very grown up (Marisa???) and articulate.

She is becoming a stronger twirler. I watch her practice and the frustration that was there in the first half of the year is gone- it's like she's found her stride and she's keeping pace with it. She wants to join travel team next year and I think we can fit it in.

She's completely comfortable fencing. Marisa is moving with purpose, listening and slowing herself down. Most amazing is that she's able to wear the facemask which not too long ago would have just been impossible.

The other night we were driving back from twirling and I told her I was very proud of her;  that she seemed to really be coming into "her own."  I asked her why she thought this was happening.

She said, "Homeschooling."

Nuff said. 

Status Check- No Psych Ward Yet

Just a quick status check from over here at our little home school...

My biggest fear when knocking around the idea of homeschooling was that in short order I would be remanded to some underfunded state psychiatric facility.  The truth is,  24x7 Marisa has never been easy. This is the child who hung my car keys in the Christmas tree when she was four because they were shiny- forcing me to search for three hours. In the third grade she perfected the ability to play 'Ode to Joy' on her recorder...with her left nostril. Then last summer she informed me that on my birthday in 2010 the widest tongue AND the longest nose was recorded by the nice folks at Guinness World Book.  She asked if I was a contender.... 


Well, here's an update. So far, so good.  Sure she gives me push back on certain tasks and doesn't want  to wake up in the morning, but, oh yeah... she's 10. Overall though, she pretty good about getting the job done.  She has realized that if she stays on task, we get finished earlier and she does like that.

We switch things out and kind of ebb and flow-one day we may be math heavy, the other may be consumed with ELA. I've gotten over thinking we need to do every subject every day.  Today she has a cold and her attention isn't all that great so we chose a smorgasboard of short worksheets and a Lewis and Clark documentary.  We still get work done and she doesn't get frustrated.  

Other than that?  Well, I keep an open reservation at the funny farm.  There are days that eating with rubber forks and making necklaces out of painted pasta shapes sounds like a nice change of pace, but we aren't there quite yet.

Have a wonderful day!  Holly


 

I Heart New Things

I just love that Marisa loves new things.  She had a great time at fencing and I think it will be a good sport for her.  It might force her to slow down a bit and be more deliberate in her actions. We shall see.

So for now we have fencing Tuesday and Thursday, twirling Wednesday, Homeschool bowling Thursday and district bowling Sundays.  Also, more classes at Cold Spring Harbor DNA Learning Center  are coming up, it looks like we have created an art class 2x a month with friends who homeschool and I've been pulling together a fencing class for the homeschool community. Oh yeah, we need to do research on, and come up with a costume for an historical costume ball that will be held in May- (I do believe Marisa has settled on being Belle Boyd, a Confederate spy- because spies are cool and she wears a really fancy dress) and we're working on a Doodle for Google entry. And she's made a really nice friend.

Where did I ever get the idea that homeschooled kids sit around all day interacting with no one with no opportunities to do anything? 

Jeesh!

I need a nap. :)

Instant Gratification

 Hi and welcome to my rant for the day! Quickly- hurry up....here we go.

Have you noticed that we're raising a whole generation of kids that have no idea how to wait for anything?  They live in an instantaneous world and know nothing else. They’ve teethed on instant oatmeal, rice and hot cocoa. They eat microwaved foods.  There’s an instant queue on Netflix, instant replay in sports and let’s not forget instant messaging.  Instant communication via cellphone, instant information on computers and instant banking are now the norm.

No wonder they all seem to be on overload, have teeny tiny attention spans and don’t understand that good things come to those who wait.

This week Marisa and I took a field trip to the Long Island Children’s Museum in Garden City.  We went with new friends we found through homeschooling.  I’m happy that Marisa found Briana and it’s a bonus that I like her mother. We had a lot of fun.

The highlights of the trip were the television studio and the radio room.  The girls created their own news show and reported the weather before a green screen.  They had to figure out where to stand and read from scripts and Teleprompters.  In the radio room we collaborated and created a show complete with guests and commercials. 

In the museum there was an area that had big black desk phones with rotary dials-you know, the really old ones that I grew up with.  They were beautiful. I was brought back in time to a bygone era when there was no speed dial and every call was made by turning that large metal dial with the big white numbers around and around, again and again.  Oh, it made me wax nostalgic for a princess cradle phone, ivory colored with gold tone accents.

But I digress (sigh)

The girls dialed the phones to talk to each other, but before they could connect, they got frustrated, hung up  and stated that ‘they weren’t working’.  We told them to wait- but they were off and running to the next exhibit- to find something that moved faster or immersed them more quickly.

Most people have joked about our need for instant gratification at one time or another but it isn’t a joke anymore.  It’s a living breathing entity that as a society we have created.  There’s no way to stuff the beast in a bag and make believe it isn’t here- so we need to coexist with it, but it changes the face of our culture and in my opinion, not necessarily all for the better. Let’s take my personal pet peeve as one example.

Letter writing.

The art of writing a letter is almost dead.  Sending a handwritten Thank You card by mail seems to have gone by the wayside- heck even the skill set of handwriting itself is no longer deemed essential in today’s technologically advanced world

.

Schools feel it’s not necessary, that we need to move forward and that it takes too much time

. 

Look, I understand there are tradeoffs.  I recognize this is the world that we live in and technology is great.  I’m certainly not looking to go backwards- but I do think that we as parents, should show some restraint. I am a techno freak myself and am intravenously attached to gadgets, but I also know how to live without them.  It’s sort of like teaching kids to use a calculator without learning math, or type on a keybard without learning how to write. Shortcuts are quick, but quick does not necessarily mean 'best'.

 Kids get too much too fast and the basics are thrown by the wayside.  Sometimes I fear that we immerse them in so much that we are creating an anxious neurotic generation.  Does an eight year old really need a cellphone, an iPod Touch and a laptop?  Do they need a constant stream of instant input, information and stimulation?

I’ve been a mother for a really long time.  Joe is thirty, Marisa’s ten so it doesn’t take a calculator (unless you never learned the basics) to do the math. I have seen a lot come and go in my years of parenting and I can say without any reservation that children now seem more stressed  than when Joe and Rob were young. 

We try to give them the best but maybe in all of that shuffling from one activity to another, they really just need downtime. Time to be alone with a book or a sketchpad or a skateboard. To not have their whole day scheduled and doled out and apportioned. Time without an electronic device.

Maybe they just need some time to stop.

And wait.

And who knows...It just might be the best lesson they ever learn. 

Of Mutant Fruit Flies and Such

Marisa attended a class at the Cold Spring Harbor DNA Learning Center this week.  It was set up by one of the homeschooling e-groups that I belong to. It was well run and so interesting!  The program was geared to their level (4^th-6^th grade) and the instructor was great.

The kids worked in pairs extracting DNA from e-coli bacteria  (It seems there is a non-harmful version of it thank goodness!) using soap ( it breaks down the lipids in the cell wall) and rubbing alcohol. 

Under the stereo microscopes they also got to view fruit flies-many of them mutant.  

Marisa loved the class. Science is her thing.  I enjoyed it also and I now know the following:

1.      A fruit fly can indeed have a leg grow out of it’s head

2.      All blond haired people have the same singular ancestor

3.      A single strand of DNA is six feet long and 1,000,000 times thinner than a strand of hair. (I knew that but had forgotten it, so in my advanced dotage, it was a lot like learning it over again!)

4.      Albino turtles have a very short lifespan, not because they are colorless per se, but because they stand out from the rest and are therefore easier for predators to pick off. 

So what activity can we do next that can possibly beat mutant fruit flies? 

Well, if you can believe it, Marisa is going to a unicycling class!  For anyone who doesn’t know, I was a darned good unicyclist when I was much (about 33 years ago) younger and even brought it to college as a mode of transportation. I'm thinking I might have to totally mortify my daughter and give the unicycle a shot myself. (I consider it payback for labor)

Anyway, now the big question is, 'Does Marisa have it in her DNA to unicycle as well as mom?' Hmmmm, I wonder if we extracted a bit whether we’d be able to tell….